Monday, March 21, 2011
Giving Into and Giving To Yourself
by Sandy Maine
Creative Alchemy, Issue 4 Winter 1998
When was the last time you shared some nurturing time with yourself?? We have all read about the plight of people (often women) who do too much... who take care of too much... who shoulder heavy burdens of work life, family life and community life at the total expense of their own life force.
How can we stop experiencing our lives as an endless series of burdensome responsibilities and begin to experience a manageable amount of responsibilities as joyful and fulfilling? How do we trim our experience to just the right amount of balanced work life, family life, community life and personal life?
The first step is learning how to say a firm and diplomatic NO to everything except the most valuable and important things in life.
What are the most valuable and important things to you? Make a list and hang it on your refrigerator or wear it in a pouch around your neck. Try to remain focused on giving yourself to those things only.
Practice a simple ‘no phrase’ such as: “ I am happy to say that I have made a strong commitment to making more time in my life for my family and my self and so I simply must say no to all outside requests for my time and energy. I really value what you are trying to accomplish and I hope that in the future I may be in a better position to help you, but at this time while I am trying to gain better balance in my life I must say no. Thank you for your patience and understanding.”
The second step is to eradicate guilty feelings for standing up to the imbalances in your life by saying NO.
If you feel pangs of guilt try to recognize these feelings as part of an old unhealthy pattern. Close your eyes and imagine a beautiful rose in front of your face, put the unhealthy guilt feelings into the rose and then explode the rose “into infinity and beyond”. There, its energy will become inconsequential to you and to everyone else.
Realize that most of our lives imbalances are due to a social design problem. Consumerism and advanced rampant technology is at the root of most of our systemic problems. Your job of simplifying will become much easier if you can place limitations on or curb either or both of these in your life
Imagine the type of life you wish to create and then do a little something each day to bring that vision toward reality. Please write to us on these topics if you feel moved to do so. We are very interested in hearing from you and sharing your wisdom with others.
You are the only one who will offer you, yourself and yourself only some time for you. The more that you give to yourself the richer your inner-self will become. The richer you are inside the more you will have to offer to your family and the world. Take control and initiate time for you every day, week, month and year in the name of a better you for a better world.